CAREER WEEK: We apply for 300 jobs, review the best job search sites, uncover the job market's secret, sleep in the tent cities and more!
By Ross Crooks
Sleeping (Running Total: 8:31:00)
Of all the data groups, sleeping, somewhat unsurprisingly, outnumbers the rest. Turns out the American man gets a decent night's sleep at over eight hours, which is about twice as long as he spends…
Working (Running Total: 13:02:00)
Seem low? Well, this is the number before the bottom fell out of the economy. As for those eight-plus hours for those of us with gainful employment? They might make the French cringe, but there's probably a lot more Twitter and Facebook than the feds have accounted for — or that your employer would care to admit.
Leisure & Sports Activities (Running Total: 18:31:00)
Apparently, watching Kobe Bryant dunk over Rashard Lewis on ABC is a government-approved substitute for any of your own physical exertion. Either way, there's more of this going on than cold-hard labor in America today — relatively shocking, if circumspect.
Household Activities (Running Total: 19:57:00)
At least men aren't completely lazy: man-of-the-house time (even if it does include loading the dishwasher) outpaced several other categories in the Labor Department data, including, you know…
Caring for & Helping Others (Running Total: 20:27:00)
Apparently we're more into managing our fantasy baseball team than cheering on our son's little-league one. This category — which included reading to kids and helping them with their homework but, importantly, not watching TV with them — could use some work from us all.
Education (Running Total: 20:51:36)
In addition to class and after-school activities (except the aforementioned baseball team), this grouping typically refers to time spent trolling for strange facts on Wikipedia, or learning about the lives of various self-important bloggers. Books occasionally entered the equation, though data was inconclusive.
Organizational & Civic Activities (Running Total: 21:08:24)
Yeah, sixteen minutes. That's some solid multitasking there: half-assed assistant coaching and Bible reading. Really gonna win over the local kids and God with that one, pal.
Telephone Calls, Mail, & E-mail (Running Total: 21:16:12)
Analysts refer to this pattern as either "Lying to the Department of Labor About How Many Texts I Send My Girlfriend" or "The Sad State of How Little Men Enjoy Catching Up with Their Mothers." My take? "Purchasing behavior" is lumped into the next category, so, you know, no phone sex.
Purchasing Goods & Services (Running Total: 21:54:00)
You work hard for your money. Also, your wife (or at least women) spends about a third as long doing this stuff every day. Probably because this category doesn't include what you spend…
Eating & Drinking (Running Total: 23:10:00)
Only seventy-six minutes, you say? Damned government groups grilling and eating at civic activities elsewhere. Church barbecues, in case you haven't been to one lately, are absolute boozefests.
Personal Care (Running Total: 23:47:12)
Nice to know that guys are spending so much time grooming themselves. But I couldn't help but notice another part of this bathroom-based data category: personal and, er, private activities.
Other Activities (Running Total: 24:00)
What you do with your extra time — or that you're done after twelve minutes — is none of the federal government's business.